Most importantly.."WHO DO YOU HAVE TO FUCK TO GET A BREAK IN THIS TOWN?!"
"Look at me now, look at me now! I'm wearing a cardboard belt." [Then Max tears it up..mauhaha.]
"I'm wet! I'm wet and I'm in pain and I'm still hysterical!"
"I'm the author, I outrank you,"
LSD: You don't think 'bout no flowers, no, all you think about is guns!
Max: Ask the man...who is shooting a gun at ass...ask him if he would like any coffee.
Roger: Ah, Bialystock and Bloom, I presume. Pardon the pun.
Leo: What pun?
Max: Shut up, he thinks he's witty.
Max: Ask him something.
Leo: Where do you keep your wallet?
"Don't be stupid be a smarty come and join the nazi party!"
"Dopey showgirls in gooey gowns! Turn, turn, kick turn!"
"They come here -- they all come here!"
"We were listing, we were sinking, then along came Bialy! We were desperate, we were drinking, then along came Bialy!" (Little Old Lady Land)
"I'm not going into the toilet! I'm going into show business!"
"Oh, we knew we couldn't lose? Half the audience were Jews!"
"Heil myself... Watch my show! I'm the German Ethel Merman, don'tcha know!!! Heil myself... Raise your beer! Ev'ry hotsy-totsy Nazi stand and cheer!!!"
Max: Oy, are you trying to kill me? Please, I'm exhausted.
Let's play one game with absolutely no sex.
Hold Me, Touch Me: What?
Max: How about the Jewish Princess and Her Husband.
"Not many people know, but Hitler was a wonderful dancer."
"Don't jump on me!"
"What?!"
"Like Nero jumped on Papai, She was his wife and was unfaithful and then he jumped on her!"
"And GIRLS in tall leather jack boots!"
Assistant: "Leathhhhhhhhhhhher...lovvvveeeee it!"
"And we've GOT to cut the third act. They're losing the WAR! It's depressing."
Who but Mel Brooks Would think of the Classic: "That's our Hitler!"
Franz: Deutschland, Deutschland, �ber alles...
Leo: Umm...Mr. Liebkind, people can hear.
Franz: Oh beautiful for spacious skies....